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Saturday, July 21, 2007

How To Pick Up A Smokin' Hot Chick In 5 Easy Steps!!!

So you want to pick up smoking hot chicks like a bad ass? Then follow this easy five step guide for guaranteed success.

Things you'll need:

* Knee length leather jacket
* Some spare change
* A cell phone
* balls

Step #1. "Grandpa's loose change"
Women run in herds to avoid having the weak ones picked off. This is easily overcome by employing the "Grandpa's loose change" attack. Essentially, all "small brains" (as they are referred by scientists) are simple money whores. They are easily distracted by money and shiny, noisy objects so take some coins and toss them on the floor near the herd. You're in.




Step 2: The Jacket
You now have their attention. Say something subtle to get them to notice your bad ass knee length leather jacket. Try going with this:





Step 3: The Magician
It is a scientific fact, nothing gets a chick hotter than a kick ass magician. Tell her you are one and you would like to show her a trick. Put your left hand straight up in the air and wiggle your fingers. Say something sexy like a magician would say. I like to go with this:



Step 4. She Never Had A Chance.

When that dullard looks up, and she will look up, punch her in the gut with all your might.



Step 5: Close The Deal
As she's doubled over in pain you should laugh at her and mock her. (Whatever you do, do not help her up, you will appear weak.) When she stops throwing up, ask for her number. (You should play it cool and act like you really don't even want it.) You might thump her in the head with your boot just to make sure she knows you are in charge. (note* Do not forget to pick up your change. If she threw up on your coins, dig in her purse to get fresh coins.)


2 comments:

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